Forever
by LLFOREVER
Summary: Jess is back--He never came back in S4--AU, Literati
1. The Artful Dodger

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or the characters. The story's mine. Distributor: Talk to me first. Pairings: Literati (what else?), Java Junkie A/N:  
  
Chapter 1-The Artful Dodger  
  
Rory got off the bus and threw her bags over her shoulder. She was glad to be home for the summer, but being away from Stars Hollow and then returning on weekends and for breaks had shown her why Jess had hated it so much.  
  
Jess. She was over him. She almost laughed to herself at that. If she let herself admit it, she would probably go straight to his arms if he was here now. He'd broken her heart but at the same time, never lost it. She frowned at the irony of it. Jess had chased after her while he was here, but now she wanted to chase after him.  
  
Rory glanced in Luke's, but he was closed up for the evening. It was awfully early. She shrugged, then remembered her mom mentioning the town meeting. He must have closed up a little earlier than normal in preparation.  
  
Rory smiled as she walked up the drive. She flung the door open and looked around curiously. Lorelai hadn't bounded out to greet her. She glanced in the kitchen and saw a bowl filled with fruit on the table, which was unusually clean. Rory heard a moan from the living room and turned around.  
  
"Mom? Luke? My eyes!" Rory covered her eyes with her hands.  
  
"It's okay, PDA is over," Lorelai said. Rory stared in shock at her mother and Luke, who was blushing bright red.  
  
"Since when? How? Where? Tell me everything!" Inside, Rory was bubbling. Luke had always been like the father she never had.  
  
"This sounds like girl talk, so I'll be upstairs watching TV. Nice to have you home for the summer Rory," Luke said, gruffly.  
  
"Does he live here now?"  
  
"If I said no, I would be lying," Lorelai answered with a grin. Rory dropped her bags at the stairs and then sat down on the couch beside Lorelai.  
  
"Out with it."  
  
"Well, [Flashback]  
  
"How's Nicole?" Lorelai tried to be sincere but she truthfully hated the woman.  
  
"Stop Lorelai. I know you don't like her." Lorelai feigned shock.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm not an idiot."  
  
"So?"  
  
"She's cheating on me."  
  
"Luke! How'd you find out? Are you sure?"  
  
"Well when I walked into the apartment and they were doing it on the couch, it didn't leave any questions."  
  
"Luke, I'm so sorry. I really am." Luke glanced at Lorelai. He had to admit, she did look sympathetic. But maybe it was just his mind playing tricks, like it did all the times she flirted with him, the little moments when he felt like he could just lean forward and kiss her but he wasn't brave enough.  
  
"Enough about my personal problems. How's things with you and," Luke winced slightly as he said it, "Jason?" He never liked the men Lorelai was with. Chris was an idiot to abandon Lorelai and Rory both. Rory was like a daughter to him. She was such a wonderful kid. Then there was Max, who Luke hated from the start. There was a slew of men that didn't deserve Lorelai. Not that he did.  
  
"We broke up tonight. He was trying to bring down my dad." Luke's eyes widened.  
  
"That's why you broke up with him?"  
  
"Yeah. And he was boring as hell." Lorelai smiled wistfully. None of the guys she dated were ever the perfect guy. Rory deserved so much more than what she had. Tears burned her eyes as she thought of a little Rory, asking if Luke was her new daddy.  
  
"What's wrong Lorelai?"  
  
"Nothing. I was just thinking about how fast Rory has grown up. You know, when she was little, she used to ask every guy I dated if he was going to be her new daddy. I wanted so badly, and I still do, to find the perfect guy who's not a jerk. Somebody who can be good to me and good to her."  
  
"Rory's the best kid in the world. She's got all she needs with you."  
  
"I don't know Luke. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough."  
  
"Maybe you're looking too hard. Maybe everything you've been looking for isn't that hard to find. Maybe you've just been looking in the wrong place." Lorelai's eyes drifted up to Luke's face. She had the sudden impulse to kiss him. She tried to sort out the thoughts racing through her mind. Taking a deep breath, she picked out the clearest one that said, "To hell with it, just kiss him." She leaned forward and kissed him hard.  
  
Luke melted against her touch. This was everything he'd ever dreamed of. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back. [End Flashback], so that's how it happened," Lorelai said, smiling as she remembered the first time they kissed. Rory grinned. Luke was the perfect guy for her mother.  
  
"It would make a great movie. If only my love life could fall into place." Lorelai glanced at her daughter sympathetically. Rory hadn't truly been happy since that damn hoodlum had skipped town.  
  
"Why are you looking at me like that? I'm over him!"  
  
"Rory, sweetie, let me tell you three things. One, I'm a woman. Two, I'm your best friend. Three, Mommy knows everything." Rory sighed. She was past the tears, but the mere mention of Jess let a flood of memories course through her. Every time she saw someone with his dark hair, his eyes. Whenever she came across a Hemmingway in a bookstore. She hadn't been able to make herself read any of the books that he'd put notes in the margin. Oliver Twist brought back so many memories, good and bad. How hadn't she seen it? She bit her lip. He'd handled it all wrong. True to his name, he'd dodged his problems. Artfully. California was the farthest place he could go in the Continental US.  
  
"Ror? You haven't said anything for about three minutes."  
  
"What? Oh. Mom, I'm going to go take a walk, okay?" Lorelai nodded but hugged Rory tightly first. Rory hugged her back, then stood up. She walked away from the house in a hurry, towards the bridge. She stopped and stared. She had to be seeing things.  
  
A/N: Please review! If you've got criticism, please make it constructive. Sorry if characters are a little OOC. 


	2. Love

Disclaimer: I still don't own Gilmore Girls or the characters. I'm also not getting profit for this. Pure fun and entertainment. A/N: Left you hanging didn't I? Take note, Jess is purposely OOC here! I'll explain later. Yes, he does appear...  
  
Chapter 2-Perfect  
  
"Ror? You haven't said anything for about three minutes."  
  
"What? Oh. Mom, I'm going to go take a walk, okay?" Lorelai nodded but hugged Rory tightly first. Rory hugged her back, then stood up. She walked away from the house in a hurry, towards the bridge. She stopped and stared. She had to be seeing things.  
  
Rory blinked. No, it was still there. She looked down at the bundle at her feet. In handwriting that was forever burned into her heart, was the name, her name, Rory. The bundle was held together with a rubber band. She sat down and opened the first letter. It was dated just after Jess had left.  
  
*~~~* Rory,  
  
I know how much I must have hurt you. Leaving you was the stupidest thing I have ever done, and I've done a lot of stupid things. I can't bring myself to talk to you on the phone but if I could tell you one thing, it would be that I love you. I, Jess Mariano, fell in love with the most wonderful girl in the world. Please understand that I didn't leave because of you. I left because of so many reasons but you weren't one of them. I messed up and I should have let you help me. Must have been my ego.  
  
I left because I wasn't going to graduate. Luke wouldn't let me stay with him. Everything came crashing down on me, the whole deal with Kyle's party, not being able to take you to the prom, everything. There's so much more that's really hard to explain, but that's the bulk of it. It wasn't you though. You were the best thing that ever happened to me.  
  
It hurts me so much to know that I hurt you. If I could take it back, I would. This isn't a letter asking for pity, I'm just trying to explain everything. If there was a way I could make it up to you, I would. I was miserable in Stars Hollow. Everyone in the damn town hated me but you. You were the only one who believed in me and I let you down too. Knowing that was probably the worst part. Knowing that I couldn't pass, couldn't take you to the prom, but most of all, knowing how much I let you down. You don't know how many times I thought that Bagboy, sorry, Dean, was so much better for you than me.  
  
I should have been a better boyfriend to you. I should have taken you out to nice places, movies, and that kind of stuff. I know now how much I messed that up but I want you to know that I really loved, love you. I wasn't just trying to get into your pants. For me, it's the first time I've ever been in love. I probably will never fall in love again. Know why? It's because I know that I am going to love you forever. I'm so sorry. You don't know how sorry I am. I love you Rory.  
  
Jess *~~~*  
  
Tears rolled down Rory's cheeks. There was so much emotion in this letter. So much of Jess that she'd never seen. He loved her. She wanted so badly to have him beside her, to be able to tell him that she loved him too. She wiped the tears back and opened the next letter. Her eyes scanned the page. It basically said the same thing, in different words. As she read the rest of the letters, she tried to hold the tears back, but the wouldn't stop. Each letter brought her love for him back even more fully. She laughed a little at the irony of that. She'd loved him since she first met him and had never stopped. She hiccuped and try to wipe her eyes again, but it was futile. Her hands trembled when she got to the last letter. It was dated today.  
  
*~~~* Rory,  
  
God, I really need to get up the nerve and send at least one of these letters. This time away from you has let me think a lot. I've thought about how much I messed up, how I wished I could show you my GED certificate, my acceptance letters for Southern Connecticut State and University of New Haven, thought about how much I hurt you, which now that I've thought about it, I totally understand if you moved on instantly, but I know you better than that.  
  
I've thought about how much I wish I could tell you that I loved you, how much I wished I could show you that. Maybe I wasn't trying to get into your pants while we were dating, but I'm still a guy. No, really, I've thought about how stupid I was. How awful it was to let you down. To let Luke down. This kind of reminds me of our old friend Holden, in a weird way. Rory, I can picture you right now. I wish I could be holding you right now. I need to get something right in my life.  
  
The biggest mistake I ever made was walking away. Now that I've thought about it, I would take back everything. You and had so much more than what I found with Jimmy. I can't change the past. I love you.  
  
Holding you in my heart forever, Jess *~~~*  
  
Rory lifted the paper to her face and inhaled. She could smell Jess in the paper. She'd missed him so much and suddenly she'd found so much of him, a part of him that she'd never known. But how had the letters gotten here? He wasn't back was he? Rory cried even harder at that. What she would give to have him here beside her. She tried to focus her eyes on the calm water as the tears continued to fall.  
  
Jess unzipped his bag and slipped his hand in. He cursed under his breath. There was a hole and the bundle of letters was gone. He glanced around Luke's old apartment that he'd been living in for the past week, without anyone knowing. Late at night in Stars Hollow, it was easy to sneak around. Luke obviously hadn't ventured up there for sometime. The letters were nowhere to be seen. Jess ran his hands through his hair. In Stars Hollow, someone was bound to find the bundle.  
  
"Damn it Mariano! Where'd you have it last?" He remembered now. He'd been at the bridge. He could risk running out there now. Someone was bound to see him. Then he remembered what would save him. The town meeting was tonight, so everyone was over at Miss Patty's. If Rory was home for the summer yet, that was where she'd be too. He threw on a sweatshirt and ran out the door.  
  
Rory took a deep breath. How could the letters do this to her? She knew the answer though. She still loved him, more than she could even fathom. It didn't make sense but it was all there was to it. Rory's shoulders stiffened at the sound of footsteps. She blinked furiously, trying to fight the tears back. Sniffing, she wiped her eyes and then turned. Looking up, she gasped.  
  
Jess ran towards the bridge. If anyone had found those letters, he was so dead. He slowed when the bridge came into sight. There was someone sitting there. It couldn't be, but it was. Rory was right there. In all of his wildest dreams, he'd never pictured their reunion this way. He came up beside her and glanced down. She was holding the most recent letter.  
  
Rory finally let it all go. The tears ran free as she stood up and hugged Jess as tightly as she could. Apprehensively, he wrapped his arms around her. Rory continued to cry. Jess kissed the top of her head gently.  
  
"Rory, baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I messed up. I'm sorry. I know I hurt you. I love you so much. I'm sorry. Please don't cry, I love you. I've missed you so much. I love you." Jess brought one hand up to her tear-stained face. He lifted her chin so that her eyes were looking into his.  
  
Rory thought she could see tears in Jess's eyes. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, they were gone. She watched for any sign of emotion and only saw one thing. The one thing that she felt so strongly. Strongly enough to forget that he'd ever left. She decided to let her heart take over.  
  
Jess watched Rory's face. She looked like she was about to kiss him, but he couldn't begin to imagine how mad she probably was. All of that was erased when she kissed him in a way that told him she was willing to move on with him.  
  
It was still there. The passion, the fire, but most of all the love. Rory ran her hands through Jess's hair. How she'd missed all of this. In that instant, Rory vowed to herself to go all the way this time. They shared a love that couldn't be broken by time or space.  
  
Jess felt light raindrops begin to fall, but he ignored it. He had never imagined their reunion this way and he'd never imagined that this was what it would come to. He kissed her back in a way that was nothing like the way he'd ever kissed any other girls. With Rory, it was always special. Now he was sure there was a difference between lovers and soul mates. He connected with Rory in a way that he'd never connected with any other person.  
  
In a way impossible to pinpoint, she was his equal and he was her other half. They were complete opposites yet they couldn't be more a like. Rory made herself pull away and then buried her head in Jess's shoulder. She noticed the rain as well but held Jess in a tight embrace.  
  
"I love you Jess," Rory said, almost in a whisper. She repeated it, almost to herself, "I love you."  
  
Jess shouldn't have been able to believe what she was saying yet he could.  
  
"I love you Rory. I'm not going anywhere this time."  
  
"Good, cause I'm not letting you." They kissed again, the perfect kiss that they would never share with another person.  
  
A/N: Gotcha! Did you really think I would bring Jess back without some kind of foreplay? But now he is back. Let me know what you think (Review). 


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